Viewing archives for Support & guidance

Two Old Elizabethans visited the School in person for a Covid-compliant celebration of International Men’s Day.

Jamie Sherman and Arjun Goswami talked about their experiences as members of the LGBTQ+ community, while also fielding questions from current sixth-formers.

In their replies, they covered how legislation and attitudes have changed since they were at School, with neither feeling that being members of the LGBTQ+ community has held them back, although Arjun (OE 2001–2008) argued that the presence of “systemic homophobia” in society and in boys’ schools can lead to stigma, which in turn causes mental health issues.

They spoke to an in-person audience in QE’s Conference Centre comprising  some senior prefects, including the Equality, Diversion & Inclusion Ambassadors, while the event was live-streamed to tutor rooms across Years 9–13.

Afterwards, Jamie (OE 2002–2009) said: “It’s great to be back at QE and to catch up with everyone. Thank you for having us and letting us speak about LGBTQ+ issues. It’s fantastic to see the School pushing this conversation.”

Michael Feven, Assistant Head (Pupil Development), said: “I am hugely grateful to Jamie & Arjun for talking to the boys so honestly and openly about their experiences in this way. With the development of Perspective, our new student-led area of the School’s eQE online learning platform, and an ongoing review of our Personal Development Time curriculum, important conversations such as these are rightfully becoming an increasingly embedded part of life at QE”.

International Men’s Day, which was first celebrated in 1994, is promoted as an occasion to celebrate boys’ and men’s achievements and contributions, with an emphasis on promoting male role models. This year’s international theme was Better Health for Men and Boys.

Jamie is an Associate with a legal firm. He identifies as gay, ‘coming out’ when he was 24, but not feeling able to do so whilst at School. Arjun (OE 2001-08) is a qualified Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, and identifies as Queer/Pansexual; Arjun was keen to share his perspectives as a person of colour.

They presented slides giving some definitions of gender, sexuality and attraction. Much of the time, however, was devoted to answering questions, including the following:

What was your experience of realising you were gay whilst at School?

• Arjun; Being BAME (Black And Minority Ethnic) and at a boys’ school had made it even harder when trying to figure myself out – being called ‘gay’ was used as an insult. When I eventually came out, my family who are Hindu and liberal, was fine, but I have friends from other cultures who struggled to come out.
• Jamie: I realised I was gay at 14, but felt isolated at School, like something was wrong with me. I spent ten years ‘in the closet’, which took a massive psychological toll. [He referenced Section 28, the law which at that time made it illegal for schools to promote homosexuality]. It is a ‘fantastic development’ that talks like today can now happen in schools – it’s a completely different environment now.

What is it like being in the LGBTQ+ community as an adult?

• Arjun: When I was at School, I was worried about how my life would be as an adult, and actually I found it was totally fine. When I came out, I didn’t lose any friends, I became more confident, and found my sexuality (being pansexual i.e. attracted to an individual  person, regardless of their gender/sexuality) didn’t hinder any area of my life – it was the opposite of what I had expected. The aim of today is normalising the idea that it’s fine to just be yourself – the barriers are less than before. And there is comfort in the fact that being LGBTQ+ is actually a protected characteristic under the Human Rights Act – it is illegal to discriminate [against LGBTQ+].
• Jamie: When the illusion of what society expects hits you – i.e. that you will grow up to have a wife and kids in the traditional way – that can be scary; but the reality is in contrast to what you expect. I have a male partner, I have friends and family, many of my friends are from School, we do everything that others do, we have the same holidays and social connection – I realise that the difference was all in my head. There is such a push for diversity and inclusion in all areas now. There was this notion that being LGBTQ+ will hold you back, but it’s just not an issue.

How does being LGBTQ+ impact your mental health?

• Arjun: There can be systemic homophobia in society and in boys’ schools – being heterosexual is what is expected. This can lead to low mood, low self-esteem, identity issues and anxiety – the fear of judgement. The biggest cause of death in males 16-25 years is suicide; being LGBTQ+ and BAME brings additional factors. 1 in 4 in the wider community have mental health issues – it is estimated this number grows to 1 in 3 within the LGBTQ+ community – due to the stigma. The message is to be respectful, be inclusive.

Does it hold you back, do people accept you?

• Arjun: Actually, it has made me more confident in who I am. To my face, I’ve not had much discrimination at all. My mum struggled the most, being from an Indian background; her biggest fear was that others would judge the family – but she’s not worried now.
• Jamie: In my first job in an office there was so much to take in, so I didn’t come out. I thought it would hold me back – but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. When I came out people just didn’t care – it’s just not a big deal any more.

Arjun said later:  “It has been lovely to have spoken at QE, a school very special to me, … about a very important issue that is integral to embracing equality and acceptance for all.”

With physical meetings ruled out by Covid-19 restrictions, QE turned to technology for its first parental consultation evening of the year.

Teachers and the parents of Year 13 pupils were able to link up online after the School invested in specialist software provider SchoolCloud’s dedicated Parents Evening Video Appointments service.

Headmaster Neil Enright said: “This is a crucial term for our final-year students, as they apply to universities and work intensively towards completing their A-level studies next summer. We realised, therefore, that we needed to make special provision to ensure that contact with parents was kept up at such a pivotal time for their sons.

“We will be now be using this channel of communication for all this term’s parent consultation and review evenings; our staff look forward to meeting QE parents in this new, adapted way.”

Several teachers, as pictured here, initially tried out the system from their own offices at the School. Thanks to the security-enhanced aspects of the service – all video calls between staff and parents are encrypted, for example – on the evening itself, both teachers and parents were able to conduct the consultation meetings from their own homes.

Tara O’Reilly, Deputy Head (Operations) said that, from a technological perspective, the evening had been overwhelmingly successful; teachers experienced little difficulty in connecting and communicating with families as parents took up their appointments online.

For their part, teachers acknowledged that the use of technology is ensuring the maintenance of the home-School relationship, even during lockdown.

Julia Lister, Head of Chemistry, said: “The online system enabled the evening to proceed successfully and efficiently,” while Head of Economics Shamendra Uduwawala said simply that it was “a good system under difficult circumstances”.

The Parents Evening Video Appointments service includes an ‘efficient scheduling’ feature, through which the teacher or parent is automatically connected with the next person in their appointment schedule.  It is also designed to work simply through a web browser, with no app to download.

With coronavirus restrictions precluding a repeat of last year’s inaugural University Mock Interview Evening at the School, QE’s old boys and supporters have instead been turning out in force online to make sure current pupils don’t miss out.

Using the School’s QE Connect social media platform, Assistant Head (Pupil Development) Michael Feven paired up Year 13 boys with Old Elizabethans happy to conduct virtual interviews via Zoom and Skype.

“Whilst we are disappointed not to be able to hold our Mock Interview Evening in person this year, the value of these interviews in supporting boys with their university applications cannot be overstated,” said Mr Feven.

The Autumn Term is a busy time for Year 13 boys, with UCAS applications due in, university admissions tests taking place for Oxbridge places and for degree subjects such as Law and Medicine, and with Oxbridge interviews being held in the run-up to Christmas. Mock interviews constitute an important element of the detailed programme of support that the School provides to help senior pupils secure places on the best courses and at leading universities.

OEs have been helping out sixth-formers with interview practice for many years, but last year’s dedicated mock interview evening at the School, which was attended by nearly 40 alumni and supporters of QE, was the first of its kind. This year, dozens of online-only mock interviews are instead being held; they continue throughout November.

Among those paired together for the mock interviews were Zac Howlett-Davies (OE 2006–2013, pictured) and Year 13’s Zeke Essex, who is applying to read Modern Languages at Corpus Christi, Cambridge. Zac, who read Modern Languages at Durham, uses his French and German on a daily basis in his role in European copyright licensing for printed music publisher Hal Leonard Europe.

“Mr Howlett-Davies gave excellent feedback based on his own experiences and it was great practice before the real thing. He was very knowledgeable and was very easy to have a conversation with,” said Zeke.

Sai Bodanapu, who is among QE’s aspiring medics, pointed out that the specific benefit of meeting his interviewer via Zoom in this pandemic year: “My mock interview helped me as it gave an actual representation of how online interviews will take place.” Sai was interviewed by Andleeb Ahmed, who is an NHS GP and mentor; her son, Fozy Ahmed, who left QE this year, is studying Medicine at Gonville & Caius, Cambridge.

“I am hugely grateful to the longstanding support from our Old Elizabethan community and from other Friends of the School who each year so generously give up their time to support our Year 13 students in this way,” Mr Feven added.

Representatives of Perspective, QE’s new pupil-led initiative, have joined senior staff to highlight the importance of Black History Month.

School Vice-Captains Thomas Mgbor and Ayodimeji Ojelade, of Year 13, have been speaking in assemblies at the School, while teachers have also led assemblies and the academic departments are uploading resources to the eQE digital learning platform throughout the month, promoting discussion and awareness in all the subject areas. Pictured here is a Year 12 assembly on Black History Month themes led by Head of Year Simon Walker.

Headmaster Neil Enright said: “I am pleased that we are doing more to celebrate black history, especially during Black History Month, and I congratulate Thomas, Ayo and our Equality, Diversity and Inclusion Ambassadors on all the hard work they have done.”

Mr Enright added that QE’s forthcoming comprehensive review of the curriculum being carried out in connection with the launch of a new School Development Plan covering the period 2021-2025 will incorporate the themes of combatting racial bias.

The departmental materials, curated on eQE, showcase the work of influential black artists, scientists, poets, engineers and musicians; examine issues such as historical inequality in the protection of intellectual property, or the way in which colonial powers redrew national borders; and consider such questions as the social construction of race, and where our knowledge of black history comes from.

As well as assemblies with contributions both by the Vice-Captains and some Heads of Year and the eQE content, other Black History Month activities at QE include:

• The release of a list of anti-racism books by The Queen’s Library; and
• Short videos from alumni that are being used to stimulate discussions on Black History Month in form groups.

Thomas said: “This experience has been really eye-opening for us. The ability to learn more about our own culture has redefined what black history was, especially within the UK. Understanding the contribution of black people within the UK has shown us how black history is British history”.

One of the first Old Elizabethans to respond to his and Ayo’s request to set out their thoughts and experiences on video was Ifeanyi Chinweze (OE 2008-15), who recorded separate films for Years 7-9 and Years 10-13.

In his video for the younger boys, Ifeanyi began by introducing himself, saying that although his family originally came from Nigeria, he has lived in the UK for his whole life. He recounted his personal history of the “hurtful” comments he received as a teenager, as others questioned his love for the performing arts (including debating, public speaking and acting).  “In my teenage years, I became aware of the fact that this choice of passions was unusual for young, black men like me and I was constantly reminded of this by my peers. At the time, I was often called an ‘oreo’, or asked why I didn’t act like a real black guy.” (Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ‘oreo’ as a ‘usually disparaging’ term meaning ‘a black person who adopts the characteristic mentality and behaviour of white middle-class society’.)

“It’s important to understand that racism is not limited to hate crimes or acts of violence,” said Ifeanyi, adding that although such comments do not always indicate malicious feelings towards black people, they could nevertheless be hurtful, whether said as insults or as jokes. And, he added: “They can reveal stereotypes, or skin-deep images that people hold of others….It is these stereotypes that produce prejudices…but if we learn to talk about our experiences and our perspectives, we share things, we can understand each other and challenge internal biases and stereotypes. We can propagate change in our mindsets, starting from our local environment and spreading. So, I would like to encourage you to ask questions, to discuss and to understand why your words might be harmful to someone else.”

Perspective, which was established last term in the wake of the global Black Lives Matter protests, is a forum looking at a range of societal issues, including racism. Black History Month was first celebrated in the UK in October 1987.

Pupils and staff at Queen Elizabeth’s School have made a successful start to the term, taking in their stride extensive measures introduced to keep them safe from the coronavirus.

All 1,250 pupils are now back, with normal levels of attendance reported and lessons well under way.

The new Year 7 boys came in on Wednesday for a special induction afternoon that included an assembly with the Headmaster, Neil Enright, with their Head of Year, Tom Harrison, and with the 2020 School Captain, Ivin Jose. They also had time in their form groups and were taken on a familiarisation tour of the site. These youngest Elizabethans are enjoying their first (non-contact) games afternoon today.

The rest of the year groups started yesterday and have already had their own assemblies and pastoral time to welcome them back.

Mr Enright said: “These are extraordinary times, but I am pleased to report that all is well and everyone is in. After last term’s remote learning through our eQE digital platform, the boys and their teachers are quickly getting up to speed in the classroom and on the sports field again, with productive learning taking place from day one.”

“Everyone is settling in well to new routines, adapting to a new timetable to accommodate social distancing and to lunch being served in multiple venues, for example.”

Mr Enright added that while staff and boys are being urged to remain vigilant, he has so far been impressed at everyone’s willingness to comply with the new measures and take responsibility for keeping the community safe, in line with QE’s anti-Covid-19 slogan, Play your part, help control the virus.

“The next few months are, of course, uncertain locally, nationally and internationally, but I am pleased that all here is running smoothly and am, therefore, cautiously optimistic as we set a steady course for the rest of the term,” Mr Enright concluded.

With their examinations behind them, Year 12 came into School for a series of workshops aimed at helping them prepare for a new academic year and at giving them a little time to reflect at the end of an extraordinary term.

The socially-distanced pastoral workshops focused on the personal development of the sixth-formers, but also gave them a chance to catch up with their friends and teachers. In line with Government guidance about emerging from lockdown, QE has been providing opportunities for Years 10 and 12 especially to spend time at the School in recent weeks, beginning with end-of-year examinations for both year groups.

The Year 12 sessions, which were spread across two days, included: group assemblies led by Head of Year 12 Helen Davies; individual meetings with form tutors; guidance on the UCAS personal statement to ensure the boys are ready for their university applications next term, and workshops led by two Old Elizabethans, Bilal Harry Khan (2003-2010) and Kam Taj (2004-2011), both experts in their respective fields. Bilal’s workshop was entitled Reflecting on Privilege & Anti-oppression, while Kam’s theme was Intrinsic motivation.

Headmaster Neil Enright said: “We felt it important to give our Year 12s an opportunity to consider  their own progress this year and to reflect on what has been happening in the wider world, while also looking forward to the new School year.

“We have worked with both Bilal and Kam before as a School and I was delighted that they were able to help us on this occasion by leading workshops which are both, in their different ways, of great importance for our pupils.”

After leaving QE, Bilal read Theology at Cambridge. He then worked locally in Barnet in a post that involved helping keep young people safe in the borough. After that, he worked in the charities sector, at first running workshops for young people and then also beginning to design the workshops. He is now a diversity and inclusion practitioner, flying all over the world to talk to CEOs and other senior leaders about issues “that might be uncomfortable”. Bilal has also become an important national media voice on such issues.

He told the Year 12 boys that in the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests, this was an important time to reflect on issues that, in fact, “have always been there”.

Among the activities during the workshop, he asked the boys to close their eyes while he read out a series of statements and to put their hands up if they could relate to that statement:

• “Did you have breakfast this morning” (all put their hands up)
• “Do you feel safe walking down the street at night” (most did)
• “When growing up, did you easily find books to read with characters from your background? (only one boy did)
• “When shopping, do you easily find plasters that match your skin colour” (again, only one)
• “Do you find it easy to gain access to a toilet when in town” (all).

The boys then discussed in pairs which statements stood out to them, and what it felt like when they kept their hands down for a question. In a group discussion, they examined whether they had previously thought about these issues, and if not, why not – which provoked comments such as “They don’t affect us,” and “We just accept it’s normal.”

On the question of “Do you feel comfortable calling the police if there is trouble?”, one boy answered in the negative, saying he “did not feel safe around the police”.  Bilal pointed out that the police were meant to be there to keep everyone safe. This led on to a further discussion around BLM, looking at people’s bad experiences with the police, including the possibility of even losing one’s life, as George Floyd did in the US.

There was also a discussion about the concept of privilege, with Bilal challenging the participants to think about where privilege comes from. The boys again talked in pairs and fed back into a group discussion about how privilege is maintained. Citing the widely quoted axiom, “Privilege is invisible to those who have it”, Bilal stated: “By reflecting on this, we can make changes.”

Bilal encouraged the boys to consider the diverse aspects of “all human identity”, taking them through the components of the acronym, GRACES: Gender & Geography, Race & Religion, Age & Ability, Class & Culture, Ethnicity & Education, Sexuality & Spirituality.

In his workshop, Kam, a performance coach and motivational speaker, began by asking the boys how motivated they felt on a scale of 1–10 by a show of hands.  One placed himself at 1 and most said 5 or 6, with none saying 8, 9 or 10.

The aim of the workshop, he explained, was for them to think about what motivates them and about what they could do to boost their motivation.

Kam described motivation as a “fire from within”; boys should not rely on other people or external circumstances to motivate them – “The only chance of our fire burning brightly and sustainably comes from within.”

At Cambridge, Kam saw other students seemingly having it all – getting everything done academically, whilst playing varsity-level sport and having great social lives. It was only in his third year that he “got it together” himself, he told the groups.

After university, he became a management consultant, which gave him opportunities to start looking at what separates top performers from others.

He then developed his ‘motivational fire formula’, which involves a combination of heat, fuel and oxygen. The heat is the intention (“What’s my goal and why I want it”), the fuel is realisation (“Being aware of what we want and making it happen”) and the oxygen is action (“Just do it!”). He added that actions need to continue in order to keep motivation going (“Action begets action”). Worrying, however, could serve as a “fire blanket of expectation” in this model, stopping people from taking actions.

He invited the boys to reflect on this formula – and on what they are missing in their lives. The formula could be stated as an equation: Motivation = intention + realisation + action – expectation

Looking further at intentions, Kam asked the boys what their goals were. The answers included “getting into medical school”, “being a great climber”, “being happy and getting by”, “being more successful than my parents in ten years”.

“The more clarity we have about what we want, the better the actions we choose,” said Kam.

He then went through the eight criteria of “empowering goals”, namely: values-driven; enriching; controllable; attainable; specific; measurable; flexible and harmless (to oneself and others).

He emphasised the importance of being positive, urging the sixth-formers to “think about the person you want to become”. They should focus not on what they want to avoid, but on what they want to attain, he advised. “If you say: ‘I don’t want to fail’, you are still focusing on failure.”

Kam also introduced the power of visualisation, giving as an example the fact that he used to visualise himself sitting in the examination room at university completing a three-hour paper calmly and confidently.